Mostly True Tales

Ok, I apologize for two of these in row, but this is great, I can’t pass it up. Both of these clips come from mediaite.com. It’s a very, very interesting site that’s worth checking out.

These clips are both amazing and sad. I’ll let you decide the reasons.

Glenn Beck must be, at this point, an “enemy of the state.”

This first clip is Glenn presenting a Birthday cake to the stimulus package.

Here is the second clip, where Glenn goes barking mad. Forget about Glenn. The man is desperate and, not mad, but angry. As we all should be!

I can’t believe Obama had the audacity to even make a speech to the this effect, praising his administration and Joe Biden on their expertly handled distribution of the funds. This man is all about spin. And that spin costs money. Your money. He is a liar. It’s that simple.

That said. Lets turn to some humor. Or at least my attempt.

Note the cockroach sized scab in the center of Joe’s forehead. While watching this, I literally thought that was some sort of large bug on his forehead! At one point in the video, Barack waves his arm, and I thought he was going to brush it off! Actually the way Obama looked at Joe, I think he did too!

I presume this mark is from the accident Joe Biden’s motorcade encountered in Vancouver. How many accidents is that for you Joe? And what does is cost to transport you to the Olympics? Not to mention those Georgetown basketball games you and Barack like to attend? Watch Joe bob his head. But I digress.

Where did I put that $75 Billion?

According to a story released this morning from Associated Press, Barack Obama and newly elected Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown are related. They are in fact, according to the New England Historic Genealogical Society, 10th cousins.

Apparently, Obama’s mama and Brown’s mother both descend from a Richard Singletary of Haverhill, Massachusetts, who died in 1687.

If this is true, I’d think it must be rather embarrassing for Mr. Brown. But, maybe not. After all, we’re talking about a man that posed nude in Cosmopolitan magazine.

Hey no problem dude! You look great! More power to you. If it ever comes up, I suggest you challenge Barack to a centerfold contest.

If this news wasn’t shocking enough, wait, there’s more!

The New England Historic Genealogical Society also claims Obama is related to no less than seven other presidents. That’s right, I said 7.

This must be incredibly awkward for everyone involved. Perhaps, more so for the dead rather than the living.

The Society claims Barack Obama is related to George H.W. Bush, George W. Bush, Jimmy Carter, Gerald Ford, Lyndon Johnson, Harry S. Truman, and James Madison. Not to Mention, Brad Pitt.

I am not making this up! How could I? Here is a link to the article.

Genealogists Say Obama, Sen.-Elect Brown Related

I’m having a hard time swallowing this story. I might believe that Barack Obama is related to Idi Amin, but 7 US presidents? Give me a break, or better yet, get me a drink.

Barack Obama and George H.W. Bush are related… Gee Barack, better stop blaming your cousin.

Maybe you owe your cousin an apology for all those nasty things you said and continue to say or imply.

George Senior too? Of course!

Let’s head right up the proposed family tree and do a little fun comparison.

In these shots of Obama and George the 2nd, you can clearly see the similarities in the chin.

As compared with George W. Bush, one can clearly see the same distinguished forehead.

This relationship is most likely due to both families coming from a familiarity with cattle. This shape forehead typically represents centuries of cattle tipping. This condition can also arise from years of playing “Matador” without actually owning a bull.

One can clearly distinguish the simularities in the nose. Obvisouly developed ofter centuries of smelling cash and brown nosing.

Now let’s take a look at Obama and Jimmy Carter. The resemblance is uncanny!

Now this I can believe!

The eyes, the elbows, the mouth, the breasts!

They are identical!

This must be true! How can it not be? AP say’s it is true, so it must be true.

Jimmy and Barack, who’d of thought.

Free Peanuts for everyone!

Let them eat peanuts!

We now enter the Twilight Zone.

Lyndon B. Johnson and Barack Obama.

Let’s see here….

Yes, clearly these two men are related.

Even this young boy can  see that’s true.

He can tell by the feel of Obama’s hair.

“It feel’s greasy”.

Everyone knows Johnson’s hair was greasy. This fact cannot be ignored, they must be related.

Now we come to Obama and Truman.

This is a controversy.

The hair in both these pictures shows a clear relationship. It also shows clearly that Jack Benny is of no relation to either. I’m pretty sure he was Jewish.

Although a Democrat, it is well documented that Truman had a hefty set of testicles and was quite well hung.

Word on the street’s of Chicago is that Obama is also quite well endowed, however his testies are completely internal.

This discrepancy cannot be ignored.

Finally, we arrive at the most offensive descrepancy in the report.

Barack Obama and James Madison.

This must be a joke, and if true, can only be explained by an apparent trait in Obama’s family to mate with everything in sight.

This explains a lot when it comes to campaign finance.

I wonder what a whore cost back in Madison’s day.

I’m sorry, but I have a hard time believing any of this. If I’m wrong, I’m wrong, but I just don’t believe it.

Maybe it’s true. Maybe any black drunk from Africa can come over here, fuck a white woman, and produce a US President. A President that is also related to 7 other US Presidents.

Excuse me while I vomit.

This story is unbelievable. I’m sorry, I don’t buy any of it.

Finally, we have Brad Pitt. If you believe the New England Historic Genealogical Society, Barack and Brad are soul brothers. I’m sure Angie is very proud.

The resemblence is clear.

You got to be kidding. The spin is amazing. You, Barack, are amazing.

You can provide genealogy to 7 presidents, but not a birth certificate that is unquestioned by the people?

Does my story sound offensive and ridiculous? So does yours.

A Russian scholar is predicting that the current financial crisis in the U.S. will lead to the breakup of the country.

Igor Panarin, a professor at the diplomatic academy of Russia’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs, told the newspaper Izvestia on Monday that America will break apart into six regions following the crisis.

“Dissatisfaction is growing, and it is only being held back at the moment by the elections, and the hope that Obama can work miracles, but when spring comes, it will be clear that there are no miracles.”

Panarin predicts the U.S. will split into: the Pacific, the South, Texas, the Atlantic coast, the central states and the northern states, and hinted that Alaska could be Russia’s for the taking. 

Actually, the thought of California succeeding from the Union has never bothered me, it’s like a foreign country anyway. I think Sarah Palin would have other thoughts regarding Alaska and I’ll bet she’s got the weapons to back it up.

America is quite divided today and when the system breaks down, almost anything can happen. However, I view this story as typical, old Soviet Union style, hateful, envious, wishful thinking. Still, it is up to the American people to make sure  something like this never happens. Complacency to the breakdown of traditional American moral values is not the answer.

Clearly, the Russians are delighted by the current chaos in America, and to celebrate, they are off to play Battleship with Hugo Chavez, but that’s another story.

A good friend of mine, Chris B. sent me this late last week. Since then, I’ve shown it and emailed it to a lot of people, so if you are one of those people, you’re probably disappointed it’s this weeks post. I apologize.

Since receiving this video, I’ve probably watched it a couple hundred times. Actually, I can’t get enough of it. It’s funny as heck.

Make sure you watch it to the end as he really gets going.

Meet the Honorable James David Manning.